Latest News

June 10, 2010: Watch Tonja speak on It's Your Call with Lynn Doyle on Comcast Network & Retirement Living TV, Philadelphia.

June 21, 2010: Tonja talks to Guy & Melissa on Sacramento & Company, KXTV/ABC, News10.  See her interview, courtesy of Sacramento & Company.

June 23, 2010: See Tonja on San Diego Living, San Diego 6, courtesy of San Diego Living.

June 24, 2010: Watch Tonja's interview on Daybreak on the Deuce KWGN/KDVR Colorado, courtesy of Daybreak on the Deuce.

June 26, 2010: Tonja speaks with Dr. Anne Marie Evers about the Magic of Relationships, 12:30-1:00pm PST, on www.contacttalkradio.com

July 9, 2010: Tonja to appear on WXIN FOX59 & WTTV INDIANA'S 4, Indianapolis, 9:15am EST.

July 11, 2010: Tonja to appear on The Weekend Show, KTNV, Las Vegas, 6:50am PST.

July 12, 2010: See Tonja speak to Dao & Shawn on The Morning Blend, Channel 13, KTNV, Las Vegas, from 9-10am PST.

July 14, 2010: Tonja will be in Houston, Texas, on the CW Network, Channel 39's Outlook Houston, 1-2pm CST.

July 16, 2010: See Tonja on WKYC-TV in Cleveland, Ohio between 10-11am EST.

 

See more of Tonja's internet, radio, print, and television appearances.

Rebound Romance

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Written by Tonja Monday, 01 February 2010 00:00

When you start a new relationship before you’ve barely left the old one, that’s referred to as a rebound romance.  Sometimes, you can literally be moving your belongings from one person’s house to another, with no down time for yourself in between.  In this situation, you may swear that your new relationship is “my one true love”, “the best thing that’s ever happened to me”, and a “soul mate” connection.

What are the motivating factors that would drive you to make this type of decision after a breakup or divorce?  Lots of very compelling emotions, like: fear of the unknown, a strong conviction that you are doing what’s right for you, pain from your past relationship that you want to escape, financial worries, and even, strong feelings of love for the new object of your affection.  Unfortunately, while you may be running from a hurtful past, you may also not be taking the opportunity to learn from it.  In wanting and needing someone to soothe you, take care of you and love you, and become your immediate replacement for a partner, you may be setting yourself up for a disappointment.

Trying to heal your old wounds through someone else is not a great way to begin a new relationship.  Research is not on your side in this arrangement.  Less than 2% of couples that started their romance as an extra marital affair stay together.  The issues that caused the first breakup, the expectations that go into a new relationship, and the projections placed on the new partner all conspire to cause a breakup.

So what is it that you need to know that can help you steer a safer course through the rugged waters of transition?

Read more: Rebound Romance

 

Makeovers - How To Improve On What You Have

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Written by Tonja Monday, 25 January 2010 00:00

Do you want a total makeover? Would you like to feel more attractive? Popular TV shows reveal people getting makeovers, so it must be a universal desire. Do you think that new clothes, a new hairstyle, and new makeup applications are going to give you the change you seek? I’ve gone through this search for a whole new me and once I made up my mind, it couldn’t be done fast enough. And that’s where I got into trouble.

In a makeover rush to improve my attraction level, I’ve had haircuts that left me looking like a little old man; makeup experiments that gave me allergic rashes and swollen eyes; and eyebrow waxes that took not only the stray hairs, but enough skin with them to leave me with scabs. Some makeovers can leave you wishing you looked almost as good as you used to.

Makeovers are a fine idea that can give you an energy boost, and can provide the kind of pampered self care that you deserve. However, make a plan that includes some of the following precautions and ideas:

Read more: Makeovers - How To Improve On What You Have

 

What Is Attractive? Who Is Attractive?

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Written by Tonja Monday, 18 January 2010 00:00

Have you ever experienced meeting a stunning girl (or guy) and after just a few minutes of talking, they appear less attractive?  What is it that some people do that causes them to lose attraction points shortly after you meet them?  The reality of how they look conflicts with the way they seem to look in a very short time.  The irony of the situation is that these people spend a great deal of time on their looks without becoming aware that their attitudes and behaviors sabotage all of their efforts.  After studying this disconnect in people, and looking at how they come across to others, I have noted certain negative patterns that contribute to the presentation of who they are.

Read more: What Is Attractive? Who Is Attractive?

   

Midlife Daters

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Written by Tonja Monday, 11 January 2010 00:00

“If you are single at 20, you are just single.  If you are single at 40, you have a story to tell.”  Dr. Philip Belove, author and psychotherapist

There has never been a time like this one in American history where so many people are single at midlife.  According to Dr. Belove, midlife is considered to be the ages between 40 and 60, and if you are single, you are probably not having just a midlife crisis, but a developmental crisis.

Part of the crisis at midlife is having a past of tangled history.  The AARP did a study in October, 2003, of 3500 single midlife adults.  The number one complaint by 70 per cent of the men and 35 per cent of the women was finding someone to date who was not burdened by “baggage.”  Baggage seems to be the biggest issue for individuals in this age range.

Read more: Midlife Daters

 

Nine Signs That Say He Loves You

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Written by Tonja Monday, 04 January 2010 00:00

Have you met someone you are crazy about?  Are you wondering if this person feels the same way about you?  If he hasn’t spoken the “L” word yet, do you know the signs to look for before you invest anymore time thinking about where this relationship is going?

Many people think that chemistry is love.  Though it is an important ingredient to the mix, most daters are amazed at how fast those heady feelings disappear if other qualities are not present.  Being physically attracted to each other is important—but it doesn’t necessarily mean love exists.

Here are some behaviors that exhibit how he feels about you.  Keep in mind that these are in general, and this information assumes that your guy is not: addicted, abusive, married, living with someone, or a player.   Once you are clear about those facts, here are the nine signs that speak louder than words:

Read more: Nine Signs That Say He Loves You

   

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