Six Secrets On How To Get Love Right
Monday, 21 April 2008 00:00
Do you know the secrets in how to get love right? Do you wonder how some people can make a relationship last in spite of the high divorce rate and falling marriage rate? In spite of the negative statistics, there are some people today who have relationships with more promise than ever before. Would you like to know how they do it?
Here are six secrets to have a relationship that will endure a lifetime:
Finding The Right Guy: Do You Think It Takes Too Much Work?
Monday, 14 April 2008 00:00
Do you feel like it takes too much work to meet the right guy for you? Would you like to meet a great guy but you want him to find you? Do you believe, in the core of your heart, that men should be the pursuers?
As a coach I get lots of questions about why a woman has to do so much work to meet someone.
One of my friends has a five-year-old daughter who started kindergarten in the fall. After her first day of school, her mother picked her up and asked, “So—how was it? Do you like school?”
The child replied, “Well…it was OK. But my teacher kept going over to her computer all the time.” Her mother said, “Oh? Why do you think she did that?” The little girl said, “I don’t know. I think maybe she was checking her fee-male.”
I check my email often myself, and find some interesting questions from readers.
Dear Tonja,
I am 43, never married, and would like to meet someone. However, I don’t think I should have to work at finding him. I believe if he is out there, he will find me. It seems unbecoming and aggressive to go looking for guys. Can’t you introduce me to someone?
Sincerely,
Looking but not looking
Read more: Finding The Right Guy: Do You Think It Takes Too Much Work?
Too Shy To Date
Monday, 14 April 2008 00:00
Dear Tonja,
I am a single thirty-five year old guy who would like to meet other singles and date. But I am shy. I do not know how to carry on a good conversation. I have always been an introvert and avoided crowds because I don't know what to say. Do you know any methods to help me think of things to say during the conversation?
Shy Guy
Dear Shy,
Being shy can be a huge obstacle to meeting people. It's painful and often embarrassing. The problem all shy people face is this: the people you are trying to talk to think you don't like them. Most folks are so insecure, it never occurs to them that the reason you don't carry on a conversation is because--you're shy.
I once had a client who was shy to the extreme. If she had to talk to strangers, her voice broke, she became breathless, and she ran to the bathroom and cried. I am happy to report that she conquered this condition. This is what we worked on:
How To Marry A Millionaire
Monday, 07 April 2008 00:00
Do you want to marry a millionaire? If you could find someone with all the qualties you are looking for in a mate, would you care if they were rich?
I had a classmate in college who was fascinating. She was very plain looking, was a poor student, had no discernable talents, and could sometimes be sarcastic. Obviously, that is not what made her interesting. Her entire focus was on finding and marrying a millionaire. I seriously doubted she could do it, but I watched her strategies from the sidelines.
What I didn't know then that I do know now that I am a dating coach is that even though she was not very attractive, her chances of marrying a millionaire were excellent. Why? Because she did the following:
Find The Love Of Your Life
Monday, 31 March 2008 00:00
Would you like to find the love of your life, but you don't want to settle for just anyone? Do people tell you that you are too choosy when it comes to meeting and dating a potential romance?
One of my clients got divorced several years ago. As the breakup crisis settled down and she moved into her new life, she remarked, “Thank heavens, I never have to go camping again!”
Whatever the dynamics were in her former marriage, for some reason, she felt it was her duty to participate in something she hated. Consequently, as she searches to find the love of her life, she looks to see if a potential date has absolutely everything in common with her.
Two things have happened as a result of her rigid approach: she found a few men on the internet who met all of her criteria, but when she saw them face to face, she didn’t like them; and, she can’t find anyone else to date. She is convinced that there isn't anyone out there for her.
I told her I knew it was hard work to find the love of your life, but that there was someone trying to find her, as she was trying to find him. I reassured her that just because you haven’t found him yet doesn’t mean he doesn’t exist.
She continued, “Yeah, but I can’t find anyone who likes to do everything that I do.”
I told my client that she would increase the likelihood of meeting someone if she could keep an open mind and an open heart. You need to consider people who may not be the type you have always imagined when looking for the love of your life.
If you are finding a short supply of people to date, consider the following:
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