Dating Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make
Monday, 10 November 2008 00:00
If you’re reading this column, you’ve probably had a few dates in your life. And looking back, I’m sure you’ve made a few dating mistakes you’d like to forget. The only good thing about a dating error is that you don’t have to make that mistake again.
One of my clients met a guy online and fell in love. Unfortunately, she trusted him before she knew him. He turned out to have a wife in another state. He also took her savings and maxed out her credit cards. It took her two years to heal her heart and get her financial credibility back.
Three years later, she met someone else online. Learning from her mistake, she had him checked out by a private investigator. He turned out to be a great guy. After a year of dating, they got married. If you don’t want to find yourself with a big dating mistake, pay attention to these situations:
How To Start Dating Dating 101
Monday, 03 November 2008 00:00
Did you ever learn how to date? Are you stuck in being alone and don't know how to get out there and start dating? Day after day, I get to hear the hundreds of reasons why people can’t get a date. Some of them have rich imaginations. Here are the latest testimonials that start this way: I can’t get a date because
· My mother is Russian and I learned to be cold from her.
· I’ve tried every book and counselor in the world, I’ve done everything there is to do to get a date, and nothing works for me.
· I’m bored with life, and there’s nothing left that gives me energy and makes me attractive.
· The only girl I’ve ever loved married someone else ten years ago.
· I’m forty-five, never been married, and the odds of my finding someone are zero.
· I’m sixty-four and I’ve been married and divorced four times, so who would want me?
To all of the people who said this and to all the people who have many other reasons for not dating, I say, “Just because you don’t know HOW to get a date doesn’t mean that you can’t. If you want to date, and if you want to meet someone special, you can do it!”
To further prove my point, every one of the above people eventually learned to date, and four out of six of them have already met someone and fallen in love. The other two will find their partners also if they keep working at it. Would you like to know how they did it? First, they changed their minds and stopped thinking it couldn’t be done. Second, they took ACTION. What does that look like?
Ten Things I Know About Relationships
Monday, 27 October 2008 00:00
Sometimes, I scan the matchmaking sites on the web to understand what my single clients are dealing with. People are often matched on somewhat superficial qualities. Sharing interests and backgrounds can be a connection, but that is not the real glue to a relationship. In fact, looking at the sites, I can’t help but wonder: how would I have met my husband?
Based on similar experiences, we would have been Match dot nothing.
His profile:
“Gentleman of British-Indian descent. Engineer, businessman, prefers jazz, sitar music, spicy vegetarian food and conversations about technology. Grew up in Bombay.”
Mine:
“Lady from cowboy American West. Columnist and Life Coach, prefers oldies and country music, steak and pinto beans, conversations about Quarter Horses. From Pumpkin Center, California.”
Similar interests are fun to share, but as a Life Coach, these are the ten things I know about relationships. Great couples have great:
Love Is A Heroe's Journey: Single, Dating, And Looking For Love
Monday, 20 October 2008 00:00
Dating, being single, and searching for love is a Heroe's Journey. Your journey is your story. Stories tell others who you are; they help you reconstruct what has happened in the past; and they help you make sense of your experiences. If you are not aware of your stories, however, and how you weave your attitude into your life’s events, your stories may be telling a lot more about you than you realize.
To be single and to date requires you to share about yourself. If you hear yourself saying, "There's no one out there," and, "I'll never find anyone I really want," these statements reveal that you have listened to your doubts and have become stuck, thinking love is hopeless. However, we have the power to change our story. In fact, each of us has the potential to live a unique and even inspirational story.
Joseph Campbell articulated the heroe’s journey in his book of mythology, The Hero With A Thousand Faces, in 1949. When George Lucas wrote Star Wars, he relied on Campbell’s blueprint, which he had read when he was in college, and which he used to craft his epic movie.
Here is an abbreviated version of The Heroe's Journey and how it applies to singles, dating, and finding your love. Everyone of us lives out this journey in one way or another.
Read more: Love Is A Heroe's Journey: Single, Dating, And Looking For Love
Are You Starting Over? How To Date Again
Monday, 13 October 2008 00:00
Are you starting over? Has your life been turned upside down? Did you have to say goodbye to what you thought was a great relationship, and start all over again? The starting over trauma can happen to anyone at any time in their life. Breakups, death, or divorce can leave you feeling all alone and unprepared for what is facing you.
Single and dating is not a place where you thought you would ever be again. So, what is it like to start over? What can you do to pep up your life with new energy and hope, when you feel tired and hope-less?
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