What Do Men Really Want?
Monday, 30 August 2010 00:00
The subject of what men and women really want from each other is brought to my attention in emails, phone calls, and client visits every day. Here is my personal take from observations, dialogue, recent research, web blogs, and other relationship experts.
What are most men looking for? Generically speaking men want:
Divorced, Over Forty... And Learning to Date
Sunday, 22 August 2010 00:00
Hi Tonja,
I have been divorced for six years. My ex had an affair and left. He lives in a large city and I am in a small town four hours away. We have two kids, both grown. At the time of our divorce, the kids stayed with me, I put them through college, bought a house, got my career on track as a nurse, and the ex just resumed his life without us.
My question is this: When does the pain of divorce go away, if ever? He is now in a serious relationship with someone else. It seems to me that I am the one struggling in life here, where he isn't. My kids mean everything to me and they don't seem to as much for him.
I see him when he comes to visit the kids, and although I don't see us ever getting together again, I can't visualize me being married to anyone else. Does that make sense? At times I still feel married, but with a spouse out of town a lot. I have dated a bit but nothing serious. Why is it so hard for women to remarry with kids when men go so easily into another relationship?
Thank you for your time. J
Single and Over Forty
Monday, 16 August 2010 00:00
Do you know what it takes to find a great relationship when you are an older, experienced, somewhat weathered grownup …and it looks like dating is just for the “young”? Being single and over forty presents its own set of terms and demands. You need the tools, skills, techniques, and courage to press through the resistance to getting out and meeting people.
Letting Go of the Ex
Monday, 09 August 2010 00:00
Often, when people break up, one person wanted to leave and the other one wanted to stay. Sometimes, the one who was left didn’t realize the relationship was over, was unaware of what he or she was doing to contribute to the breakup, and didn’t understand how important their partner was to them—until it was too late.
The person who is left behind is usually in shock, denial, pain, anger, and a state of confusion. Months, and even years, can go by while they put their love life on hold and wait for their partner to return. And whom do you think this happens to more—men or women? You would be right if you said men. Fifty percent of them say they never saw the breakup coming.
Whether you left someone and now wish you hadn’t, or he or she left you, if you find yourself pining for your ex, watch out for the excuses that you may use to stay attached. All of the following will keep you from letting go and moving forward into the life you want:
Savvy Dating Notes: Thoughts on Love... and Las Vegas
Thursday, 05 August 2010 00:00
Dear Readers,
Back from a recent promotional book tour to Indiana, Las Vegas, Houston, and Cleveland, viewers, interviewers, and people I meet by chance usually ask the questions that I try to address here. They want to know how to get over love; how to find love; how to sustain love.
And what is the most frequently asked question of all? “How do you meet someone?” Hungry for hope, wanting to hear answers, and in spite of any prevailing cynicism…they all want to meet the love of their lives.
Read more: Savvy Dating Notes: Thoughts on Love... and Las Vegas
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