Thanksgiving Wisdom for Singles: Gratitude Makes You Attractive

Monday, 24 November 2008 00:00

1. What have you been grateful for in the past?
This question is wide-open and could fill an entire notebook, once you get started. For instance, did you have a favorite pet as a kid, or one that was memorable in any way? I mention that particular one because we grew up with lots of animals that I loved. But one year, I won a duck at the fair. Quacky followed me everywhere, which was amusing at first, and then became somewhat of a pain. I had to clean up after him everywhere he walked. Mother finally gave him to our landlady, who had a bunch of chickens. It seemed like a good idea at the time until the landlady cooked him for the holidays. I still feel a pang of guilt about it.

There were a lot of lessons I got out of that little adventure. There may even be a lesson for singles, like: be careful of being flattered by someone who robotically follows you around. You may wind up having to clean up their mess and doing more work than you bargained for.

So…what are you grateful for from the past? People, pets, places, things, actions, moods, trips, or unforgettable moments are worth recalling if they put a smile on your face. Recapture them now and write them down.

2. What are you grateful for in the present?
This question can be an easy one to miss day-to-day because we often find more to complain about than to be grateful for. When we are constantly striving for more, it’s hard to see what we have now.

One of my clients told me he had nothing in his life “to feel good about.” His wife had left him for the next-door neighbor.
“Do you have any friends?” I asked. “Yes, I have a few,” he said.
“Are you proud of your kids?” I continued. “Oh yes,” he answered.
“How about your work? Do you find success and satisfaction there?” “I’ve done very well professionally,” he shared.
“It sounds like you have a lot of blessings,” I offered. “Well, I never thought of it that way since I don’t have anyone to share my life with,” he moaned.
“No,” I said, “And you probably won’t as long as you think of your life in that way.”

We then worked on how:

· No one can make you happy—only you can do that for yourself.
· If you currently met someone, and you had this “poor me” attitude, you would put an enormous burden on her. If you weren’t happy all the time, you would assume it was her fault.
· Everyday, you want to stop and say “Thank you,” to the people who help you.
· You want to spend 10 minutes a day realizing and being grateful for what you have right now.

Once he found his true attitude of gratitude, he also found his true love.

3. Who has helped you in your career?
It isn’t possible to get anywhere in life without help from someone. Have you thanked them lately? Have you told your co-workers, the mailman, the grocery store clerk, the delivery people, your teachers, mentors, or parents, thank you for what they have done? Even if you have, use the season to find a way to express your appreciation again. Give them a present, bake them something, or make them a homemade card. It doesn’t matter what you give. It’s sharing your gratitude that counts.

4. Who has been there when you needed someone the most?
The person who gives the most unconditional love is often the one who is the least appreciated. It’s easy to take what is constant for granted. It’s kind of like air. Do you wake up everyday and say, “I am so grateful for this air to breathe?” Probably not, since you are used to it being there. But where would you be without it? Put that special someone on your list to thank.

Answering these three questions will make you wise. Living in gratitude will make you happy. And being grateful for all that you have now will make you very, very attractive. Happy Thanks-living!