Dating In Tough Times

Monday, 08 March 2010 00:00

Are you finding it hard to date, or even to think about dating, in these tough economic times?  Does a movie and dinner sound like it would break the bank?  Maybe it’s time we take a lesson from the page of those who went before us.

My mother grew up in Oklahoma during the Depression.  That experience branded her with what her children thought were some strange ways.  She never threw anything away, all leftovers had to be eaten before anything new would be cooked, and all clothes were homemade…by her.  She gardened; she canned; she pickled.  She sold Avon, encyclopedias, Tupperware, dresses from catalogues, and anything else that would make a little money.  If people saw my mother coming down the street they would duck and run because they knew—Alma Evetts was going to sell them something.  I guess if you grow up barefoot, picking cotton, and riding a mule to school with your three brothers, there isn’t much you can’t do to earn an honest dollar.

And that’s kind of what this economy is coming down to for everyone: thrift, perseverance, and determination.

Dating in tough times requires you to dig a little deeper in your idea bank.  Find some inventiveness; some pluck.  If you’re single, you don’t give up on dating—you just find better, cheaper ways to do it.  Here are some low-cost or no-cost dating ideas:

Meet at the video store to choose your favorite two movies.  If you can’t afford to rent a movie, get your local newspaper or TV guide and pick a show you would both enjoy watching.  Don’t forget to pick up some microwave popcorn, Milk Duds, or Diet Coke if you want it to be a real movie date.  Once the show is over, turn off the TV and talk about what you watched, why you did or didn’t like it, and relate it to a personal experience if appropriate.

Plan a picnic date.  Decide who will bring what.  Don’t forget a vase and a few flowers.  Following brunch or lunch, unpack your simple art materials.  Pads of paper, crayons, colored chalks, or watercolors along with a big shirt (artist’s smock) and hat can have you in the mood to sketch or paint.  Stick figures are acceptable since grades will not be given.

Get out your cards and poker chips.  You are in for a treat, whether you play Canasta, Bridge, Gin Rummy, Crazy-Eights, or Go Fish.  Any of these card games will get you laughing together.  What’s the prize for the winner?  It depends on how much you like your date.

You can find old board games in your closet, attic, or at a Thrift store.  Almost everyone has at least one board game they love and one more they will love once they learn how to play it.  My daughter used to bribe people to play Monopoly.  (“I’ll bake you some cookies!”)  Checkers, Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit, Chutes and Ladders and more are waiting for you.  If this doesn’t suit your date, try a jigsaw puzzle.  That idea could turn into several dates.

This is fun drama, as in going to see a high school or college play, or your community’s little theatre.  Another kind of drama date is for both of you to get dressed up in costumes and go to the local coffee shop, library, or museum.  Dress up like your favorite character and “be” that person for an hour.  That will either get you and your date talking—or it will get a lot of people in your town talking about you.  Either way, it’s dramatic.

I know… I know…this sounds crazy.  But if you can pull this off—by setting it up right—this is a sensational way to get to know your date.  You will learn more in 2 hours than you could in 2 months because this gets people talking!

Tell your date you’re learning to make play dough for some kids (if you need a good excuse.)  Play dough keeps in the refrigerator for over 6 months so you can reuse it with kids.  Mix in a large bowl and stir: 1 cup salt, 2 cups flour, 1 cup water, and 1 drop of food color.  If your date gets into this—he or she’s a keeper!

Even when times were good, my mother’s desk was stacked with junk mail.  When I asked her why, she said, “I can use the backs of the envelopes for writing paper.”  Who knew?

We need to get back to some of those values—especially when it comes to dating.  It’s time to get past being impressed with flash and dash and superficiality and look for the bedrock of a person.  These are some of the gifts—of dating in tough times.